I first learned about cigarettes and smoking when I was a kid. My father and my neighbor was heavy smoker. My neighbor was an old man I used to call Aki Kaja, and he used to smoke Kawung leaves.
Kawung is leaves from palm sugar trees, used to substitute tobacco wrapper or paper. Aki Kaja usually rolled his tobacco inside Kawung leaves in his front yard.
As curious village boys, my friends and I wanted to know what Aki Kaja was doing, and what Kawung’s leaves are. He let us try the leaves, without tobacco inside. Therefore, we ‘smoked’ those Kawung leaves at times, but not too often. It was my first experience getting acquainted with cigarettes and the activity of smoking.
As far as I can remember, during my fourth year in elementary school, I tried the real cigarette, albeit only once or twice. My parents would be furious if they knew. They allowed me to smoke Kawung leaves because it was done in front of the house and under Aki Kaja’s supervision. They thought it was just playing pretend because there was no tobacco.
Moving on to Junior High School, my crowd was bigger, I met many new friends, had new extracurricular activities, and the distance between school and home is longer. The distance I covered by Metro mini, Kopaja, walking (quite tiring), or bicycle (riding with my friend).
During this time, I started to smoke more often, still behind my parents’ backs. I joined the theater club and felt like a real artist (after winning a theater competition, participating in a poetry reading competition, and keeping up with the trend in the literature and theater world). It seemed to legitimize the idea that smoking can summon inspiration and make an artist look cool. Nowadays, when I see students in their white and blue uniforms smoking by the road, I feel like slapping them. I feel disgusted and I regret that I once did the same ‘stupid’ thing.
I remember my father told me that I wasn’t allowed to smoke unless using the money I gain myself. I keep that in mind.
After graduating from Junior High School, I was accepted into a school managed by the German government through Siemens Indonesia. It was called Vocational Training Center or Pendidikan Khusus Kejuruan Teknik (PKKT) PT Siemens Indonesia, located in Pulomas. It was then relocated to Cilegon, and unfortunately, it is now no longer exists.
During my time at PKKT PTSI, I never spent any money on school. I got a full scholarship; I received a monthly allowance, a complete wear pack uniform, practice type of equipment, books, daily meals, and an opportunity to work as an intern and a guarantee to work in PT Siemens Indonesia in Pulomas. My generation, Listrik XI (there were also Mekanik and Mekatronik) only consisted of 15 students who passed through a tight, long, and tiring selection.
Thinking that I have managed to gain my own money, I gathered my courage to tell my parents that I was a smoker. They didn’t scold me, life went on, and my father even shared my cigarette. However, I never asked for his cigarette, because he smoked Djarum Coklat which I didn’t like. I preferred Gudang Garam with filter (I called it Garfield), Gudang Garam Surya 16, or Marlboro known as the ‘white’ cigarette.
Since then, I smoked more intensely, and I bought cigarettes in bulk, instead of in retail. After graduating from Vocational School, I worked in various companies. During those times, I never stopped smoking. You may say I was a heavy smoker since I could consume 2-3 packs of cigarettes per day.
Several times I tried to quit smoking. I tried to reduce the amount and tried to completely stopped, but I always failed. Sometimes it lasted for one week, other times only several days. However, in the middle of 1999, I forget when exactly, only remember that it was on Wednesday and I was in Manggala Wanabakti ‘forest’ by MPR/DPT Building (I worked in one of the biggest ISP in Indonesia), and it was after lunch, I flicked my cigarette, saying, “This is my last cigarette.”
Indeed, it was the last time I smoked. Alhamdulillah, up to this day (and InsyaAllah forever) I do not smoke anymore. I was a smoker for 15 years since 1984 to 1999. Out of 15, 10 years I was a heavy smoker. Back then, the tips of my fingers yellowed, my lips and teeth blackened, and my physique was very thin.
My close friends were confused and wondering why I quit smoking. They couldn’t believe it. But it’s true, Alhamdulillah I manage to completely stop smoking until now.
Indeed, hidayah can come anytime. Alhamdulillah, I can leave that bad habit of smoking. There are two main reasons for this, and I am grateful for my two best friends and their words that encouraged me to quit smoking.
I mentioned hidayah because my friends’ words were uttered long before I finally decided to quit smoking. I don’t remember exactly when my friends said it, and if I ask, I’m sure they also don’t remember. But his words leave a deep impression. Perhaps my friends are the medium, but I am sure Allah SWT truly loves me.
Firstly, I’d like to thank Cruzero Mulianto, my classmate at PKKT Siemens. He once said:
“Well, you used to not smoking, so you can get used to not smoking.”
Secondly, I’d like to thank Sahmullah Rivqi, my workmate at PT Indosat Tbk (1993-1996). He once said:
“Allah gives you a pair of good lungs and you wreck them, you should be more grateful.”
At the time, those words to me were like water off a duck’s back. I just smiled and ignored them. Time flew and I forgot about them. But then, years later, I suddenly remembered them. That’s why I call it hidayah. Those words haunted me and made me ponder.
The former means that smoking is just a matter of habit; someone who was previously not used to smoking can get used to not smoking once more. And the latter, the stronger one, means to become a grateful person, one must take care of one’s healthy lungs given by Allah SWT, instead of corrupting them with cigarettes.
Hopefully, this will be amal jariyah for my two friends. They have inspired me, and I hope they can inspire others. I also hope that this true story of my life can be a medium for those who still smoke and an answer for those who ask me how I can quit smoking.
Kukusan, September 24, 2020.